frankenstein took the three-pound hammer from the wall, found the hand-sized area on the anvil that rang the clearest and gave the most bounce to the hammer’s head—the anvil’s “sweet spot”. everything has two meanings, he thought, our simplest, smallest words branching off into the storms and whirlpools of sex, warfare, worship. therefore the words do not work. he breathed shallow while the wet coal at the fire’s edges coked up, the sulfur cooking out of it and filling the shop with lung-stinging fumes. “coked up”—the verbal thing there made him wonder if he wasn’t just doing this to be doing coke, if the part of him that literalized all words, the undeciphering, dreaming part of him, believed he was here getting high. several nights of sick dreaming had preceded his relapse. various dreams but they all happened in the same place, a city he must have visited once and couldn’t remember anymore, depopulated now, vast and silent stadiums, motionless streets. the man in the dream was no longer himself; it was some other fool, some other drugged maniac, and he, frankenstein, watched the rest of it from a place beyond, like a moviegoer—a dreamgoer. he’d never before had a dream and failed to be in it.
from already dead, by denis johnson
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