once again again

i am at
the still place where
the low voice bawls where
the clock indistinguishes
itself against
the dull
half murmuring
heart.

the night is
glass is
cold on the back
of my neck like
some bitter iced
remembrance i remember
when you saw it tears you
wiped from
your eyes.

what we held on that ugly
carpet our bony young
bodies one summer what
could possibly stand
against all this steady
dripping steady
happening steady
memory accumulated happening
like dust like rust like
the still the still i
want to. i want you. is
what i wanted to say and
never.